BULLYING IN SCHOOLS
Bullying in schools continues to be a problem in our schools, even though schools have implemented anti-bullying programs.
I would love to have a rant about bullying as I find it despicable but instead I will relate some instances I have seen while working as a casual teacher in schools.
In each instance, it was directed at a student with autism, although I realise that other students are impacted, as well.
What I have Witnessed as a Teacher
When I first started working as a casual teacher, I worked in a school that had a relatively small enrolment (around 250) as it was new. I would see this 9 year old running through the yard, hiding in cupboards, and 2 staff from admin. walking around looking for him.
On a particular day, I had to supervise his class for one hour and also had yard duty in an area he played in. My introduction to him was at yard duty.
Two very angry students in his class approached me to tell me that the student with autism was in an out of bounds area.
I walked over to see what was happening, while the whole time the two students spoke very aggressively at me, demanding to know what I was going to do about it, and more!
When I arrived, the student was sitting on a rocky garden area which edged the car park.
I tried to talk to him while the other students kept yelling at both of us. I could see that the student with autism was very anxious so I tried to ignore the rudeness of the other students.
The information he gave to me was that he was allowed in this area, if he felt anxious and wanted to be by himself. It was his quiet, safe place as no other students should be there.
I calmly turned to the students and relayed this to them and asked them to move away to their area.
However, this was not good enough for them and they continued to yell at both of us!
Just at this time, the next teacher on yard duty approached me, and she said she would take care of the matter. I wanted to make a report on the matter but she said she would do so.
Just imagine what a pleasant surprise it was (not!) to find I had an hour in the same class as the verbal two students.
And, yes, they continued making remarks to the student with autism, who was very anxious but had no systems set in place in the room.
Just to get him out of the room, I let him in the adjoining small room but the teacher next door made him go back into class. He chose to go into the cupboard and then was told by the same teacher from next door, to get out of it.
It was such a toxic environment that I felt like going into the cupboard!
The two boys did not let up the whole hour.
There was no understanding shown by the children or staff of the needs of the student with autism and, obviously, there wasn't any mentoring of the young teacher who had difficult behaviours in the room, and her room did not reflect the needs of a student with autism.
I reported this incident but, honestly, I think they put it in the 'too hard basket'.
Another incident happened this past week, as I was picking up my next class. I found a student sitting on the floor, crying. He was unable to talk so the three students around him relayed the bullying they had witnessed.
This young student with autism was in year 4 so he was about 10 years old. He had the basketball he was playing with taken away from him by a group of students. They then proceeded to punch him and scratch his face.
The teacher who was supervising him that week ( it was a mixed class that week as some students had gone to camp ) rolled her eyes and said that he always cries. I said I would follow up and report the incident and repeated that he had been physically hurt.
However, she said she would take care of him. I did not know what that meant so I was not sure that she would just settle him, or report the matter. I would have made sure that the matter was reported by visiting admin after school.
To my relief, another teacher approached and asked me for the details so then I knew the matter was reported, as he spoke to the boys who had witnessed the incident.
I took my group of students to class and the student with autism returned after 45 minutes, calm and ready to participate in the class.
At the end of the day, I had to move the class to the room next door to pack their belongings and get ready for dismissal for the day.
During the lesson, I had a particularly rude child who continually tried to disrupt the class, although the other students were enjoying the session, playing chords on their ukuleles.
As I stood with the class at the door, ready to dismiss them, I saw the young student with autism crying on the floor. The young boy who had been rude during the class had pushed his way to the front of the line but, as I was concerned more about the boy crying, I dismissed the class.
I heard the rude student yell something rude at the top of his voice, as he ran home.
As I walked over to the distressed student, the other caring students had witnessed the rude student stealing his belongings from his pencil case and putting them in his own pencil case.
They said that this behaviour goes on all the time as he does things to see the ASD student cry!
So, after school, there was another report made about bullying the same student. The rude student was put into another class for the day and had four days detention.
He had already been suspended from school previously and had missed out on camp because of his behaviour. And yet I could see that he was popular with his peers. even though he was a bully.
Thirdly, I worked with a teacher in a team teaching situation, and her 13 year old autistic son was in a high achievers' class and the constant bullying by one student drove him to a suicide attempt.
The student was constantly telling him he was worthless and he should consider suicide.
The police visited the home of the bully and the parents were incredulous. Not their bright son- he was a role model of goodness! However, there is an avo on him.
Students with autism are easy targets for bullies but what do we call those who bully? Do they need a diagnosis?
Should they have access to psychologist, rather than just the child being bullied? That would be a real wake up call to the parents
There is something going seriously wrong with a child who can articulate the desire that another student take his life. Do these students grow into sadistic adults who enjoy making others miserable?
Possible Strategies-What do we do to protect our kids?
!. We listen.
Kids are tuned in to how interested we are in them, and I find that students with autism have a very strong sense of who cares, by the manner in which they are related to. But this needs to start early in their life, not just the difficult teenage years.
What is trivial to a tired adult is important for the child. They may not be able to tell what is trivial or important. This may have led to the teacher rolling her eyes and not being particularly interested in what had made the student cry.
But why should bullies get away with their behaviour?
2. Teach them from an early age what bullying looks like and tell them they must always report it.
I have seen schools punishing students who bully so they are doing what is legally required to do.
I think the best practices would be to have an anti-bullying program built into the school program so that bullies are not seen as 'cool' (yes, I have seen nice students accept bullies) and to be strong enough to make good choices and tell teachers when they see something that needs to be reported.
I have heard some students very openly saying "he's a dobber", and the like.
Ask all students if they have witnessed bullying. Ask them why they think people bully. I think some students in the room may fall silent when they hear their peers talking about them (even if names are not mentioned). Will it give them some insight into their behaviour and some opportunities for self-reflection?
3. Teach children how to prioritize incidents.
Just like we teach our students with autism to rate their emotional wellness at a particular time, can we role play situations with a problem and rank them as to whether or not they are bullying and need to be reported?
4. How do they interact with their bullies?
Bullies thrive on fear, using intimidation. What if we teach our students to say "you are a bully and I will report you"?
5. If you are a parent, keep knocking on the school's door to clarify situations and be your child's advocate. What can the school do to help keep your child safe? What is happening to the bullies?
What will happen if the bullying behaviour keeps repeating itself?
As an adult, it is distressing when we are bullied so just imagine how terrible it is for a child, and an autistic child will possibly have less coping strategies.
If bullying is continual, consider your options: putting your child in another class, asking for the bully to be put into another class if the bullied child has some friends in the class, or change schools.
If the bullying continues, ask for a plan that is written down and review the situation at certain time intervals. I think the bully and his parents should also be part of this review so everyone is on the same page.
6. Call the police.
If the student or your child is continually bullied, and is showing signs of depression or has tried committing suicide, call the police.
&. Mandatory ongoing counselling for children with a history of bullying.
I have written this post as I am dismayed at the bullying I have witnessed.
I am not saying it is rampant as most students are well-balanced, kind individuals. However, I am concerned at the social acceptance of bullies who may be good at sports, or be able to be very persuasive individuals.
One thing we teachers always said, when I was working in an autism specific setting, was that each class had a group of students who varied in their levels of intellectual ability but we saw an acceptance of differences by the students.
7. Devote a safe place and time out area for children being bullied.
8. All teachers should be aware of specific bullying as each teacher is on yeard duty throughout the week. Strategies should be discussed for consistency in approach.
Teachers who have spoken to me say they are quite intimidated in these circimstances, if they are not the classroom teacher. As well as dealing with the bully, they are dealing with a child who may go into a meltdown and they simply do not have the strategies for that particular child.
9. In this past year, I have started to deal with outside behaviours on a daily basis. Each play session is followed by a chat about their outdoor play, when I am with the class.
As the children return to class after play, I asked the class if they enjoyed their play. That's when they relate any problems they had in the yard.
It becomes the topic in my lessons throughout the week as I teach Friendship and Social Skills throughout the week.
It is relevant and problems are dealt with in a timely manner. I read stories, do activities from relevant books, watch videos on yuoutube, do question and answer sheets, reflection activities, co-operative learning tasks, and role play.
Role play was a great success as I mimicked the behaviour of a child who didn't care about his behaviour and its impact on particular children. I changed the situation slightly so as not to point at him directly.
During discussion, I asked the children how hey felt about my behaviour during the role play and would they chooose me as a friend. They said it was mean behaviour and they would not like to be friends with a child like that.
This was important as the child who was being mean and bullying did care about other children in the class but he did not realise that children outside the group he was mean to would see his behaviour and make judgements about him based on his treatment of others.
He was starting to understand why the childen he wanted so much to be friends with said he couldn't play with them.
I taught some students who moved onto mainstream schools while others moved to special settings, but their acceptance of each other was touching
For my follow up post, please visit my new post. https://rosaliemarkovics.blogspot.com/2019/02/are-you-looking-for-anti-bullying.html
You can find my on my Autism Gems Facebook page
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